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Anonymous
Depression

Need Help With A Depressed Friend

For the past few years, one of my good friends has been going downhill. It started out with him saying subtle things that I didn't agree with, being racist and sexist etc. I guess because it was a slow build up, a lot of my friends and I chose to ignore it. Now I really struggle to be around him because he can't see why I don't sure his hatred for muslims, gay people etc. As as result, I don't see him that much anymore and I know most of his friends are the same.

He has become very isolated and distant and I'm really worried that he might do something stupid. I feel horrible about it because as much as I want to see him happy and make sure that he doesn't harm himself, I feel like I can't be bothered to see him. Does that make me a bad person? What should I be doing about it?
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optimistsnest
19 1
I think the question to ask is 'Are you depressed that your friend has turned out in this manner?' Seeking help shows that this person really matters to you. Otherwise, you wouldn't have wasted your time thinking about him. That's a great first step - acknowledging that the issue is bothering you. It doesn't make you a bad person for not wanting to see him because of the way you've been hurt in the past by his words/actions. Its natural to keep away from people that harm our mental well-being. However, its not going to help the other person by staying away. I believe talking is the best way. But communication is two ways and if you have attempted and didn't get a response, then there's not much you can do.
Anonymous
15
@optimistsnest Thanks for your reply. I know. I just feel like he knows where I stand in terms of his opinions but it's like he can't understand why I don't agree with him. I think you're right though, I still care about him and want the best for him, I've tried talking to him before but maybe neither of us were ready to have that conversation. Maybe I'll try again.