Most people at my workplace are somewhat friends with each other. They always find things to talk about. Then there's me, the one who barely looks anyone in the eye. I don't know why I'm so scared. I'm scared to show my true self. I get exhausted easily and I think it's better to always be quiet than sometimes be happy and talkative. It happened to me when I started working there. I always greeted everyone, smiling at everyone, talking, etc. But after a couple of days to a week I kind of shut down. It probably makes me look weird.

Sometimes I have a good day when I've managed to talk to some people. During those days I'm scared of tomorrow when I'll probably be quiet again and I would have to start it all over. I don't know if that makes any sense.

I feel awkward, sad, depressed, lonely every day at work. It's mentally and physically draining. I don't know how to make things better. I'm so invisible and quiet it's like I don't exist. I'm scared I'm making the work atmosphere bad because I feel I might seem rude to others?

If anyone else has experienced something similar, please let me know how you managed it.