Yes, you need help. As a child of an angry, reactive father - who never dealt with his issues - I can tell you right now that, at 46 years old, this is how he has defined himself to me. As an adult, I remember the fun we had, when he was in a good mood or my brother and I were behaving, I appreciate and love those memories. But, unfortunately, his reactivity, the way he would unpredictably explode, and *most importantly* never work to repair the relationship with my brother and I afterward has been forever imprinted in my mind.

As a grown adult, we have a good relationship, we hug when we see each other, he knows about everything going on in my life - but the shadow of my childhood, and how unpredictable and scary he was to me, will never go away and this is how I will always see him. He would be mortified if he knew that this memory is at the forefront of my experience as a kid, so it's just something we don't talk about - ever.

The fact that you are questioning your anger management issues is a MASSIVE step toward self-reflection. Believe it or not you are the one in control of how you react - it's not your kids *making* you react that way. It's a choice that you're making. And, you are also shaping their emotional development by modeling how to react when triggered or angry. Emotional self-regulation is what you should look into as well as maybe taking a quick mental note of what you are triggered by. Is it them not listening? Then ask yourself why this is such a trigger for you; because, really, children are designed to not listen, as they shape and form their own senses of self and autonomy - it's up to you to guide them through that and work together.

Rage is a manifestation of feelings that you don't know how to express in productive ways. Rage is the product of a loss of control. Rage is the product of childhood triggers. Rage is the product of not knowing how to regulate and understand your feelings *before* you get to that point. Rage is what happens when we have parents who didn't know how to express themselves, then teach us how to express our feelings and emotions.

If your kids are still kids then it's not too late to repair your relationship with them, but it's really going to have to start with you. You need to get to the bottom of *why* this is the only way you know how to express frustration. Start there. There are so many books on this topic, and you will have to go deep into your own childhood experiences, and be prepared for that because it can get heavy. I applaud you for reaching out and acknowledging your concerns about yourself, that is such a huge step you're making. You have a big role here, as their dad, you are going to shape and have a huge influence on, how they develop as adults. How they handle their own emotions, and stress, and relationships with others.

In the meantime, I'll leave you with this: Know that your children are inherently good. Even when they're misbehaving, they're inherently good. Even when they're pushing your buttons, they're inherently good. Even when they're being wild animals, they're inherently good. Even when you feel like you want to sell them at the next garage sale, they're inherently good. And they NEED you to see that. Good luck, you've got this. :)

Working off a bit of steam at the gym can be a good way to channel any anger that you're experiencing. However, it seems like you're not addressing the core root of the problem. Are your kids really the source of your anger or is something else in your life not going quite right? Try digging a little deeper and addressing the problems causing your frustration. You may be surprised at how much your mood and tolerance with your children improves.