Talking about your mental health is never an easy thing, but for men; the situation is becoming dire. Reports from the Australian Bureau of Statistics suggest that 76% of all people who die by suicide are men and they are twice as likely to have a substance abuse disorder.
So what can we do to stem this behaviour and help improve men’s mental health and wellbeing?
REMOVE STIGMA
The main issue surrounding men’s mental health is the perceived embarrassment and stigma attached to admitting you have a problem. Much the same as it has been for a man to admit that he has a drinking or substance abuse issue in the past, admitting you have poor mental health has been akin to admitting defeat.
This needs to change.
With one in five Australians experiencing a mental illness this year, the issue is hardly uncommon and demands our attention. Communities and families need to open lines of communication early and explain mental illness is not a personal failure.
Various initiatives have been launched in recent years to help end the stigma for men dealing with mental health issues. BeyondBlue’s Better Out Than In campaign was led by the AFL and AFL Coaches’ Association and targeted men who actively engaged with the sport or represented a typical “blokey” persona. The series of digital campaigns showed that even the manliest of men were not immune to mental illness and while the initiative was highly successful in removing stigma, the job is far from done.
(Sydney Swan’s coach John Longmire’s mental health story featured in the Better Out Than In campaign. Image courtesy of betteroutthanin.com.au)
In an era where more men have body image issues than women, higher rates of suicide and depression and lower self-worth than ever before, it is important to recognise the signs and get help. Most notably, you must remember that there is no shame in admitting you need support.
LOOK FOR SIGNS
While the crux of the problem relates back to a lack of communication, we can identify signs and patterns of behaviour that may suggest that someone is suffering from a mental illness, such as depression.
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Changes in routine
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Substance abuse
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Loss of energy
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Neglecting physical health
These are all signs that someone is experiencing mental health problems. These symptoms can often be referred to as “avoidance” behaviours and are the largest and most obvious warning signs.
Smaller signs such as withdrawing from friends or not enjoying a familiar activity are also indicators of a much larger problem.
These kinds of indicators are widespread among both men and women, but social pressures can often manifest themselves in ways specific to men. For instance, when experiencing mental health issues, men are more inclined to demonstrate advanced avoidance behaviours.
Disappearing into work as a method of escaping emotional pain is highly common in Australian men. Overworking and undersleeping can, in many cases add to the problem and lead to a greater emotional and psychological toll.
Increasingly, we are seeing men use cover-up tactics to mask their current emotional status, often over-drinking, over-gyming and over-indulging.
If you experience or see someone who is demonstrating this behaviour, it may be difficult to know what to do next. It’s easy to disregard this behaviour but if you have genuine concerns, its critical that you voice them in a calming and encouraging way.
DEMONSTRATE SUPPORT
Sometimes it’s as easy as a conversation. Often we overcomplicate the process, increasing anxiety and stress for those seeking help, but the initial interaction should be casual and encouraging.
If you see someone you think might be struggling, asking them “Are you Ok?” might not seem like a big deal, but it opens a dialogue that encourages future conversation. The standard response will more than likely be “Yeah, I’m fine” but the intent has demonstrated an empathetic concern.
Beyond that point, finding the right way to initiate a serious conversation about mental health is a delicate process, but one that shouldn’t be intimidating for either party. Find an activity that you can talk and do at the same time; go surfing, camping or play golf and engage the conversation in a casual, informal way.
One of the most successful ways in breaking down personal barriers is sharing your own story. Finding common ground regarding a particular issue can help remove the stigma and initiate a constructive conversation. Be curious but be supportive. Often when someone talks to you about their issues, they aren’t looking for an answer, but for encouragement.
There’s been a deeply ingrained notion that men, particularly in Australia don’t talk about their feelings. It’s a big part of the problem and in many cases, the pressure to uphold the strong, Aussie bloke image has fed into this. If having the conversation about your mental health in person, with friends or family is a scary thought, there are other options.
Seeking help from a medical professional can be a huge step forward, but similarly also presents an intimidating situation. If this is the case, peer-to-peer support forums may be the answer. Talking anonymously with people in similar situations, who can share their stories and coping mechanisms can be a great help in managing mental illness.
By sharing experiences with people who have been through similar things, it helps to remove the stigma, increases your support network and makes you feel less alone. It may even give you the encouragement and confidence to seek a medical professional or talk with family members.
STAY IN TOUCH
Overcoming an obstacle as debilitating as mental illness is by no means easy; it is a long and confronting process that may take years to manage. Don’t think that one good conversation can completely cure mental illness. It takes steady patience and constant reassurance.
If someone has come to you for support and you’ve had a constructive and considerate conversation, the job is in no way done. Keep in touch, the same way you initiated the original talk. Keep going surfing or playing golf, in fact, make it a monthly routine. Encourage the dialogue to flow and stay on top of it.
If you or someone you know is experiencing the signs of mental illness and is ready to find support, don’t be afraid to talk. You are definitely not alone.
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