For making friends as an adult, friendships that fade, and feeling lonely even in company. The stuff people rarely admit out loud.
Adult friendship is oddly hard to talk about. There’s no vocabulary for a friendship breakup, no acknowledged process for making friends after school, and a lot of quiet embarrassment about admitting you’re lonely — as though it says something about you rather than about the circumstances.
It doesn’t. This category is for saying it out loud.
What people talk about here
Making friends after a move, a breakup, a new job or new parenthood, when the built-in structures are gone. Friendships that quietly ended without anything being said. Being the one who always organises. Loneliness in a room full of people, and in a long relationship. Growing apart from people you’ve known for decades. Whether to say something when a friend keeps letting you down. Wondering if you’re the bad friend. And keeping friendships alive across distance, illness, or wildly different life stages.
Support beyond the forum
- Lifeline — 24/7 crisis support and someone to talk to. Call 13 11 14.
- Beyond Blue — free 24/7 phone and online mental health support. Call 1300 22 4636.
- headspace — youth mental health support for ages 12–25. Call 1800 650 890.
- healthdirect — Australian Government health information and service finder.
Persistent loneliness affects physical and mental health in measurable ways. If it’s been going on a long time, it’s worth mentioning to a GP — it’s a legitimate thing to raise.
How to use this category
Say the unflattering version. “I don’t think anyone would notice if I stopped texting first” is the kind of post that gets ten replies from people who’ve thought exactly the same thing.
If you’re somewhere specific and looking for people, feel free to say roughly where — but keep it to a city or region rather than anything more precise.