For questioning, coming out, and finding community. A space to work out who you are at your own pace, with people who’ve been there.
Nobody owes anyone certainty. You can be forty and questioning, or sure and not ready to tell anyone, or out to some people and not others. All of that is ordinary.
This category is for LGBTQIA+ people and anyone working out where they fit.
What people talk about here
Questioning, and the pressure to arrive at a label faster than you’re ready to. Coming out — when, to whom, and how, or deciding not to. Family who react badly, or who say the right things and behave differently. Being out at work. Faith and sexuality, and the people who’ve found a way to hold both. Finding LGBTQIA+ community, especially in regional areas where it takes more effort. Dating, relationships, and starting later than your peers. Gender identity and the overlap with sexuality. And the good parts, which get less airtime than they deserve.
Support beyond the forum
- QLife — free LGBTQIA+ peer support and referral by phone and webchat, 3pm–midnight. Call 1800 184 527.
- headspace — youth mental health support for ages 12–25. Call 1800 650 890.
- Lifeline — 24/7 crisis support. Call 13 11 14.
- Beyond Blue — free 24/7 mental health support. Call 1300 22 4636.
If you’re not safe at home because of who you are, 1800RESPECT can help confidentially on 1800 737 732.
Posting rules for this category
- Nobody gets outed here. Don’t share anything about another member’s identity outside this category, and don’t speculate about anyone’s sexuality — members, public figures, or people in someone’s story.
- No debating whether identities are valid. That isn’t a discussion this space hosts, and it’s covered by our community guidelines.
- Nobody has to justify or explain their identity to be taken seriously here.
How to use this category
Post anonymously if that’s safer. If you’re not out, be careful with identifying details — this forum is public and searchable.
You don’t need a label to post. “I don’t know what I am and it’s bothering me” is a perfectly good place to start.